Building on my first blog, where I discussed Offutt’s use of the theme “nothing lasts forever,” in this part of the novel, Offutt continues to show the reader that his youth is coming to an end. Fatherhood is often associated with maturity, and responsibility. It is also associated with selflessness; a father works to provide for his family, and takes little for himself. Offutt expresses his reluctance to see his “free” days end, “I envy its reckless lifestyle-the solitary animal seeking fun like the romanticized single man, perpetual bachelor, the lone-wolf cowboy of books and film. The beauty of the coyote is its inability to ponder the past. It is happy in a pack or on its own, honoring the moon, the cycle of women. Very soon my freedom will end. No one is perfect but fathers are expected to be.” During his single days, he was free to explore the world, to be with whomever he wanted.
Rita’s pregnancy has not only made him realize that these days are over, but it has also taken the attention off of him. He says, “Rita is the focus of our lives, her belly the pinpoint. I feel the futility of a laid-off worker, the fading sense of being useful.” Offutt uses the switching between the scenes with Shadrack and the scenes with Rita to contrast his “old life” with his new life, and the life that awaits him after his child is born. His days with Shadrack were carefree, and his new life requires him to assume responsibility and leadership. Although Offutt wishes for a son, he says, “a daughter makes more sense because I’m liable to do more damage to a son.” His sense of not feeling needed during Rita’s pregnancy, and his belief that all of the attention is focused on her has left his feeling inadequate. He says, “The seminal stage of family is already pushing me aside.”
When he thinks about the chance that something could go wrong with the birth, he says, “I don’t know which would be worse-losing my mate or raising a child alone. The obvious answer pummels me with shame. My concerns for Rita’s mortality have little to do with her. I want her alive to make life easier for me.” These are the lines that stuck out most to me while reading this part of the novel because they are simply so shocking. Offutt is not a bad person, but rather he is reflecting on his circumstances and he feels as if he is trapped. All of his thinking about his younger days and the fact that he knows that the baby is coming, whether he wants it or not has gotten him worried, and wondering if he has done everything he wanted to do during his “free” days before they are over.
Vocabulary Words:
Incessant: unceasing
Proffering: hold something out; propose something
Renegade: traitor; rebel
Surreptitiously: trying to avoid being noticed
Incredulity: disbelief
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